We all have them. Don't pretend you don't. And sometimes they can be really frustrating to deal with. Someone else's pet peeves may seem insanely picky, because they aren't things that bother you.
Like, who cares if the cups are upside down in the cupboard, am I right? Or what does it matter if I sing in the shower? And the dishes? I mean, as long as they get done, is it really a problem if it takes a whole day?
Well, actually, it matters a lot. When you're living with roommates, you are sharing a living space. That makes the environment just as much their home as yours. And respecting that space is important. Think of something that drives you absolutely crazy. Got it? Now imagine if someone who is with you every day, does that very thing. Some of you may not have to imagine too hard...
When your roommate expresses a pet peeve to you, it is usually them trying to communicate what they need in their home life. It's not a bad thing. So don't get frustrated when your roommate is just being honest with you about what bugs them. Besides, its a good practice to listen and show concern for the people around you. And on the flip side, don't be afraid to be honest with your roommates about what bothers you, too!
When your roommate expresses a pet peeve to you, it is usually them trying to communicate what they need in their home life. It's not a bad thing. So don't get frustrated when your roommate is just being honest with you about what bugs them. Besides, its a good practice to listen and show concern for the people around you. And on the flip side, don't be afraid to be honest with your roommates about what bothers you, too!
It's the little things that count, people. Sometimes the best way to communicate kindness and consideration, is by simply not leaving a giant glob of Crest Toothpaste chillin' in the sink.
This is really true. I find that what really upsets me is when people don't tell me I'm bothering them until much later. But I have felt the difference between having a roommate that confronts me so that I feel loved and so that I feel judged. But I haven't been able to pin down the difference such that I can emulate one and not the other. Do you have tips on that?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the question Joseph! That's a really tough thing to pin down. You're right- its frustrating when people aren't honest with us up front. So firstly, I'd just encourage you to have the conversation as early as possible. It isn't fair to someone to complain about a pile of instances, if you haven't communicated in the beginning what frustrates you. The second thing I would advise you to do is make sure you approach the conversation from a defensive position, rather than an offensive one. Use statements like, "I feel overwhelmed when you leave dirty laundry around the apartment." Rather than, "You really frustrate me when you leave your clothes on the floor." Finally, I would suggest not making a bigger deal out of the situation than it is. Before you address the problem, cool off for a sec, and make sure you are calm and in a mindset of kindness. No pet peeve is worth a shouting match!
DeleteThanks! That is very helpful. :)
Delete