Q&A with Dorea Slagle of Rooming in NYC
"Today I had the opportunity to sit down with one of my best friends, Dorea Slagle, to talk to her about her blog, Rooming in NYC. Our blogs are actually pretty similar, with content geared more towards living off campus with roommates post-grad. I was also really excited to sit down with her because she tackles a lot of relational roommate issues but from a female’s perspective.
Benjamin Capitano: Hi Dorea! First, I just want to let you know that I’m a big fan of your blog. I think it’s so interesting how you talk about avoiding roommate conflict. So many people, myself included, overlook the roommate dynamic in favor of things like thinking about cleaning and utilities. They don’t think enough about the humans they live with, and you know humans are at the center of everything we do. But anyways I’m really interested in talking with you about your perspective living in an apartment that is very different from where I have lived. Living in student housing and running an AirBnB meant I was only living with/hosting male guests so I’d like to talk about what it’s like living in a co-ed situation. I also think it’s interesting how you live in an apartment fairly far, I think about an hour, away from campus. So let’s start by talking about how you manage that long commute when you don’t live just walking distance away from campus.
Dorea Slagle: The most important thing to dealing with a long commute is time management. I like to plan my day the night before, like think about if I might need to pack two different types of shoes if I have school, work, or babysitting the next day. I’ll usually pack a lunch the night before since being so far away from home I can’t just run home and grab something to eat.
DS: Now as far as the commute itself is concerned I always, and I mean always, make sure to have headphones with me. I don’t know how people make it through a long commute without headphones. Even though you’re surrounded by people it’s a good time to just plug into your music, be alone, and take a deep breath preparing yourself for the day.
BC: What are three songs you listened to your commute this morning?
DS: Haha, well that would be Ed Sheeran’s Don’t, Taylor Swift’s 1989 Album, and um.. something broadway. Oh right! Legally Blonde. Haha. It’s really important to have your music saved offline on something like Spotify so when you go underground in the train you don’t lose your tunes when you lose service.
BC: Haha, thanks for that pro-tip. Let’s move more now into the roommate experience itself. In one of your blog posts, you talked about roommates secretly sifting off shampoo. Can you tell me a little more about that and how you should deal with a situation where that’s going on?
DS: Sometimes it’s a really hard temptation to quietly borrow your roommate’s things. Sometimes it’s like just a few tablespoons of milk for your coffee. I’m definitely guilty of that. But the best thing to do is just to ask ahead of time. I’ve found that roommates are usually willing to let you borrow their things, but you should always just ask ahead of time, or anticipate asking.
BC: In your apartment you live in a co-ed situation. Can you talk about some of the pros and cons to that environment?
DS: Well there are definitely some pros and some cons. As a woman obviously you’re just going to be a little more reserved.
BC: So, like, no dancing in your underwear?
DS: Haha, no definitely not that. I think one good thing about that is my stuff more stays in my room and the boys’ stuff stays in theirs. Living with guys and girls has taught me how to interact with both genders because while it’s great to have your girlfriends around for emotional support and those three-hour conversations it’s also great to have guys around who can not only fix things like reaching lightbulbs and do heavy lifting like lifting a bed frame up three flights of stairs. One thing I’ve really appreciated from my guy roommates is getting advice from a guy’s perspective whether it’s asking about a relationship or how I can be more considerate gives me a broader perspective on just interacting with people in general.
BC: I know that one of your roommates has a pretty severe allergy. Could you talk about how you realized they had an allergy and how you work around it?
DS: Yeah, so what’s funny about that is we all have allergies to something but one of my roommates has an extreme allergic reaction to lavender. And I mean like deathly allergic. You just have to be really serious and proactive about what you buy and always be thinking about what your roommate cannot be around because it’s so much bigger than just a pet peeve; it’s an actual health concern. When I’m out shopping I’ll always look at the tags to make sure there’s no lavender. You’d be surprised just how many cleaning supplies, like those swifter wet mop things, sneak lavender into their scent.
BC: Wow that’s incredible. When I shop I’m usually just thinking about how much it costs, but I’ve never had a roommate where I really had to be that careful regarding allergies. Now I have one more question left and I’m not sure if anyone in your apartment has encountered this yet but if anyone in your apartment were to be in a relationship with someone how do you manage that within the confines of a roommate situation?
DS: Well that’s actually a pretty common thing. I’ve found that personally it doesn’t become a huge issue and that it’s actually like having over any other guest. You just have to be proactive about asking and being respectful, reminding yourself that this is someone else’s home. There should be certain hours obviously like if it’s going to be later you should always check with your roommates first. We keep a group text so it’s easy to stay on top of keeping everyone informed. The quantity of time is also important. If you have your significant other over all the time then it gets obnoxious. It’s necessary to have your own space and not have guests over.
I’m very lucky in that all of my roommates get along with the person I’m dating so it works out really well but it’s still really important to communicate with your roommates and ask them if they mind them coming over.
BC: So the main point I’m getting out of this question and the conversation as a whole is that communication with your roommates is absolutely key.
DS: Yes! It’s important to just be kind and considerate of your roommates. Communication is one of the most important things you can do not only within the confines of a roommate relationship but within any relationship especially when you live in close quarters. (i.e. NYC) When you live with somebody you see them every day. This isn’t just someone you grab coffee with once a month but someone you see every night when you go to sleep and every morning when you wake up. You see their good days and their bad days. They really become more than just your roommates but your closest friends. That being said, the stakes are really higher because you’re living with someone who truly matters to you and forgetting to communicate or be kind can jeopardize more than just the peace but something much more valuable than that which is friendship."
Thanks for the great article Ben! You can follow Benjamin Capitano at his blog airbnbdorm for advice on ways to save money in college, tips on creating a beautiful environment, and product recommendations for your home.
No comments:
Post a Comment