Five Simple Ways to Renovate Your Apartment on a Budget!

I'm a college student. I don't know what your experience is with college students, but if you can imagine an empty piggy bank, then you've got the general idea. It can be really hard to renovate an apartment on a tight budget. But your living space is important and you need to enjoy being home. I sat down with fellow blogger, and dear friend, Benjamin Capitano, who was recently featured in a New York Times article about renting out his living space to tourists visiting New York City. Ben has a knack for home decor/style that always leaves his living space looking better than when he moved in. Here are his five simple suggestions for improving the aura and feel of your living space!

1. Lighting

This is, according to Capitano, the most important when it comes to renovating. Lighting affects everything our eyes glance over. It sets a mood and a tone in the room. So his suggestion is to use lights that don't blind you. So fluorescents? Forget it. "It makes any food in your kitchen look unattractive", says Capitano. They're horrid. Get rid of those suckers now. Instead, "purchase under cabinet lighting. Color temperature is a big part of the ambience. Always go with warm lighting." Capitano also pointed out the importance of "directing your light". He says, "Draw the eyes to the nicest parts of the room by spotlighting what's important." 

2. Smell

We all know that there's nothing worse than walking into your home and being hit with a disgusting and unrecognized able odor. And obviously the best fix for this is cleanliness: take out the trash, do the dishes, etc. But you can always take your apartment from smelling "fine", to smelling "heavenly". What's the best way? Some typical options for fragrance renovating might be candles, Febreeze, incense, or the little sticks in the jar that your mom loves. But Capitano has his own recommendation: Bed, Bath, & Body Works "Wallflowers". He shed some light on how this product is both cost effective and exciting! "They last for about a month, running 24 hours a day. That's a lot longer than a typical candle can burn. They're only five dollars, and Bed, Bath, & Beyond has really well designed smells that change seasonly, which keeps your apartment fresh from January to Christmas." 

3. Painting Old Furniture 

Some people think in order to have furniture that looks like a set, you need to buy a $699 set from a retail store. But you don't! If you are buying furniture on Craigslist, or you already own cheaper pieces that don't match, choose a color, go to Home Depot, and grab a gallon of semi-gloss paint. It'll cost you $23 and by the end of the day, your cabinets, table, desk, and dresser can all be mahogany, chocolate brown, black, or Ben's personal favorite- pearl white. "You take a day to paint everything the same color and then suddenly you have matching furniture! Everything looks nicer, like its meant to belong in the same room. I highly recommend doing this to renovate your apartment setting if you don't want to blow a couple hundred bucks."  

4. Rasterbate

"Rasterbate," says Capitano. What the heck is that? I had to ask the same question. Raster bating is when you create a giant wall sized mural out of 8xll photos. (See image below for reference.) It's an incredible way to open up a room and create an environment that feels coherent with your personality. How can you do this? Capitano shares, "The website 'The Rasterbater' allows you to upload a picture, and it will send you a PDF file with your image broken up into pieces. I recommend paying to print each page at a place like Staples because buying ink yourself is expensive. Then you take the individual pictures home and put them on a wall. It's eye catching. I promise the mural will be the first thing people look at when they walk into the room. I choose an old shot of a Manhattan map, because I lived in an old building in the city. Anything you can use as a poster, you could use to raster bate. Whatever you want your space to represent!"

5. Throw Away and Feng Shui 

This is perhaps the most simple piece of advice. Capitano says: "Basically the basic principle is that it is very easy to acquire too much clutter. Its important to constantly purge ourselves of all the clutter that weighs us down. Doing so opens up the room, and allows you to arrange the elements in your space to create a better energy that flows." People collect trinkets, photos, clothes, letters, playbills, holiday decor, and suddenly your home is full of old junk that you don't really need. When your apartment is free of useless "stuff" you naturally design a space of peace, simplicity, and order that is mentally and emotionally encouraging. 

Summary: 
The energy and atmosphere you create in your apartment can have a drastic impact on your attitude and your level of comfort. You and your roommates need to establish a way of creating that space for one another, but it has to be done together. Thanks to Benjamin Capitano for joining me this week to offer some advice on apartment living! If you'd like to see more of Capitano's work, check out Ben's blog here!

Do you have tips on how to improve an apartment on a budget? Comment below and give us your feedback!

Ice-cream, Kleenexes, and a Bottle of Wine

Disclaimer: Guys, before you check out on me because this seem's like a woman's post, keep in mind that this is chalk full of valuable clues on how to handle your girlfriend. Just saying.

Anyways! So, here's the thing- I didn't grow up with sisters. I have two brothers (whom I love dearly) that made it easier to be more of a tom-boy growing up. I actually used to get in trouble for wrestling with the boys in the church yard... buuuuut that's another story! I think its because of the fact that I only have brothers, that having girl roommates means so much to me. Cause honestly, they're the closest thing to sisters I've probably ever had. We have our fights. We definitely don't always get along. But at the end of the day, I know they have my back, and hopefully they know that I have theirs. Which is why this post is dedicated to both of them. It's about the formula every woman knows all too well...

 Ice-cream + Kleenexes + a Bottle of Wine = Fixing the Problem

If you want to have the best relationship with your roommates as possible, its good to know how to handle the tough days. Believe me, whether you're in college, post-grad, or just moving to a big city to start a new job, there will be moments where you are punched in the gut (metaphorically speaking of course). My girls have been amazing at this. They know when I've had a hard day. And when I'm not willing to just sit down and word vomit right away, they usually coax it out of me. Just last week one of them said to me, "Dorea. You came home, didn't say a word, you're moping, and you just started furiously cleaning your bedroom. What's wrong?" 

Everyone deals with frustration differently. But I have found there to be three practical stages to processing with your roomies:

Step 1: Acknowledge the Problem (Ice-Cream)

When you notice your roommate is really upset, grab a tub of Ben & Jerry's half baked ice-cream and settle into a comfy position on the couch to talk. Sometimes people don't really feel like talking when they're angry or hurt. But if you can get them to open up about what's bothering them, it'll help them work through the issue and it gives you the insight to help as best as possible. Sometimes people just need to know you're willing to listen. Even if it is a twenty minute rant (hence the snack)! 

Step 2. Let it Out (Kleenexes) 

Occasionally, the tears will just appear out of nowhere- and that's kind of terrifying. But usually it takes girls time to figure out what's really bothering them. So they'll talk for fifteen minutes about things that don't really make sense. They may seem kind of sporadic and irrational. But then they'll point out one very specific thing, and more often than not, its pretty simple. Then they'll start to cry, and its best just to have the kleenex box on hand. It saves you the awkward scramble of trying to find something for them to wipe their nose on. Seriously. I carry a travel pack at all times. 

Step 3. Move On (Wine)

After they have ranted, raved, cried, and possibly broken something small, you need to help your roommate put their frustration to rest. It's great to process things that upset us! It's bad to refuse to let go of those frustrations. Temporarily dwelling on problems is healthy. Refusing to walk away from them? Not so much. Crack open that 2002 bottle of Chardonnay, pour a glass, and put on a movie. Relaxing and doing something fun reminds her that she has plenty of things to take joy in. It's a great way to bring perspective, without making her feel like you're pushing her to "just get over it".

Of course we all have our dramatic Rachel Green moments. It's really ok. Let your roommates feel what they need to. Just help them to address their emotions, work through them, and then resolve them. So when you go to the store Saturday, you should have three items on your shopping list... 

Right? Right. 

"Be Our Guest!"

"Be our guest. Be our guest. Put our service to the test!"

Or.... Not. 

We all know and love the lively hosts of Disney's Beauty & the Beast. Unfortunately, we aren't all as good as Lumiere and Ms. Potts. Most of us can't afford to play host 24 hours a day. So when you invite guests to stay at your place, keep in mind that they aren't just going to be staying in your home. You have roommates and it's their home too. They can't be responsible for entertaining people they don't know. Just like we have to be considerate of our roomies, so should our guests be aware that their choices affect people around them. 

For starters, don't take everyone by surprise. The worst thing in the world is coming home to what should be your private space, and finding a complete stranger sitting on your couch. "Um... Excuse me Sir... Who are you?" If you want to have someone over, whether it's for dinner or a whole weekend, clear it with people first. For all you know, your roomie has to get up at 5am for a big exam, and it's not a good night for people to be making lots of noise in the living room. Group texts make avoiding this problem super easy. You know the whole. "Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness" concept? Yeah, no. Not when it comes to the people you're living with. That's just asking for a fight. 

Once you've gotten the ok for the guest to come over, ya gotta talk etiquette with them. There are few things that frustrate people more than a rude visitor. So help your guest out. Brief them on the general rules of the apartment, so they know what to expect. Show them the trash can and the dishwasher, and let them know how they can help keep things tidy in the communal areas. And if they're staying overnight, show them what stuff is yours- ESPECIALLY in the kitchen. Let them know that the delicious chocolate chip cookies in the cupboard don't belong to you, and by extension them. "Unintended thievery" isn't really acceptable.

It's also always best to inform your guest if there are any "off limits" areas. For example, I am very particular about who sits on my bed. Call it picky if you must, but my nightly slumber is very important to me. One day, I remember coming home and a roommate's guest was not only sitting on my bed with a beer in hand, but had tons of clothes draped on it. (This roommate no longer lives in the apartment) It wasn't my roommate who was being disrespectful of my stuff, but because it wasn't explained that the bed space was private, I ended up having to ask the guest to get off my bed.  #awkward 

In a nutshell, your roommates should be willing to let people hang out at the apartment. Having friends over is fun and it can be relaxing to just enjoy your living space with a guest! But make it easy on the roomies to say yes next time you ask.

Bathroom Etiquette

Five people. One bathroom. Yes ladies and gentlemen... One shower. One toilet. One sink.

Talk about a tough scenario. I wish I could tell you that sharing a bathroom always works out, but there have been too many times when I've gotten home late from work, had to pee SO BADLY, and someone else was in the shower. And I know each of my roommates would say the same. For anyone else in a similar situation... I am truly sorry.

But, its a fact we have to deal with. So instead of just complaining, we tried to come up with a system that would cut back on issues. We have the "ask first" policy in our apartment. If we're about to jump in the shower, we simply check in with the roomies to see if anyone needs to use the bathroom before we take it over. This is considerate for others and it also makes it so you don't have to feel rushed during your nightly routine. We've also found its helpful to split up who showers when. Two of us tend to shower in the morning, two at night, and one SUPER late at night. This rotation keeps the hot water allowance spread out, and leaves the bathroom available more.

Then there's the issue of having three girls who all (yes we admit it) need a mirror in the morning. But there's a super easy solution to this. Throw down $20, go to Target, and grab a door mirror! Now, I can just do my hair and makeup in the bedroom instead of needing the bathroom space for twenty minutes. Easy, convenient, efficient. Problem solved.

Now lets get down to the dirt. Literally. There are so many little things that can make a bathroom disgusting. Its really not cool to put everyone in that situation. Girls I beg you, do NOT leave your long, nasty hair strands in the shower drain. Guys, for the love of God, remember to flush. Seriously. And we've all been guilty of leaving a huge glob of dried toothpaste in the sink basin. How do you deal with this? It's actually really easy... don't do it. A person who can't clean up after themselves isn't responsible enough to be paying rent. I know, I know- you grew up with a mom who took care of all that for you. Too bad. Your roommates aren't your parents. So buy some Lysol, take out the trash bag, and learn how to properly wipe down all surfaces. Your roommates will appreciate it and you might find that a clean bathroom makes you feel better too!

Dealing with Conflict: the Elephants in the Room

*Not a real life shot

Dealing with conflict is something we all could be better at. No one goes into life knowing how to perfectly handle things that cause tension. In fact, the majority of people would prefer to ignore tension, grit their teeth, and get over it.

Except. That doesn't actually solve anything.

Ignoring problems only strengthens conflict- especially with roommates who you see every single day. The lack of communication doesn't allow the person frustrating you a chance to even rectify the situation. And moreover, it doesn't provide any way to alleviate your feelings. 

Of course, sometimes we take the opposite approach when conflict arises. What's the phrase? Oh yeah... "passive aggressive". You know, that little plan you make in the back of your head that involves dropping hints that we are upset? Cause THAT solves things. (Please note the sarcasm dripping from the text.)

But one thing I have learned from living with four other people is that a lot of times, roommates are passive aggressive because they don't want to create conflict. Few people actually *want* to fight. So instead of confronting you, they try to give you clues that they don't like what you're doing. The only issue is, this can make a home situation very awkward.

You can imagine the type of comment that is made…

It usually goes something like: "Hey, did you cook last night?" 

*Pointed look at the sink full of dirty pots and pans* 

The problem is, this approach makes the other person feel embarrassed. It isn't gracious. It can also be aggravating, because your roommate isn't being direct about being upset. They’re very nearly pretending not to be. I've tried to approach problems being silent, or passive aggressive. Believe me, I'm trying to spare you the pain. So here are three little tips for dealing with conflict directly:

1. Take A Moment

Don't jump on the person that moment they upset you. Give it a few minutes, cool off, and think about the words you actually want to use to explain how you’re feeling. 

2. Be Straight Up

Fight the urge to water things down, or to blow them out of proportion. Be blunt, but simple. Don't draw out a huge complaint. People handle confrontation better when it is honest, yet unexaggerated.

3. Let Go of the “Offense List”

If you've confronted a problem, and the other person has apologized, it's unfair to pocket the offense in the back of your mind to pull out later in a different circumstance. If you’re asking a roommate to stop leaving hair in the shower drain, you don’t need to remind them how much you hated it when they left trash can full last weekend.

Dealing with conflict isn’t comfortable. But refusing to deal with it only creates unspoken tension. No elephants in the room, please. The square footage of a city apartment reeeeeally doesn’t allow for that.

Appreciate People

What does it mean to actually see the best in someone else? It's definitely something you have to do intentionally.  

It isn't ignoring a person's failures or drawbacks. That's not healthy for any kind of relationship. Let's be real people- we all screw up. No point in expecting otherwise from the people around us, or even ourselves. But choosing how we view people has a significant impact on the health of your roommate relationships. 

It's really a three fold process:

I. Look for what you admire 

The very large majority of people you meet will have some sort of good character traits and qualities. It's important to pick out something in them that you respect, early on in the friendship. It makes it easier to accept the things about them that you don't like about them so much. 

II. Remember that differences are strengths 

This is huge. Seriously. If everyone was the same as me, no one would pass Economics class. So we definitely don't want that. Just because we don't relate to a personality on an individual level doesn't mean we can't see the value of that personality. I'm not laid back, but boy oh boy am I glad that there are people who are! 

III. Uplift and Encourage

Let people know you value them. Simple as that. If your roommate makes time to have a movie night with you, thank her. If he takes the trash out on his way to work, tell him you appreciate it. It keeps the apartment vibe uplifting and it creates opportunity for dialogue during the conflicts.

Not Yours? Then Don't Touch.

I had to learn the hard way how important it was to ask before borrowing. I remember one time I took a movie from our shelf to watch. I didn't think anything of it- it was just a DVD, and I knew I'd put it back when the movie was over. 

Not quite. 

The movie belonged to my roommate. It wasn't mine. In the moment, I didn't mean to be inconsiderate. But the thing was- I had forgotten to take the movie out of my laptop when it was over. The next day my roommate was looking for it, and got nervous because she couldn't find it. She texted me asking if I'd seen it and I told her what happened. She was pretty upset. My initial reaction was to be like, "Hey, it's just a DVD. I'm sorry. I didn't know." But it turns out the movie was actually a gift from her father. It had a lot of sentimental value. 

I had to go back and apologize. Not because the movie was broken, but because I had assumed it was fine I borrow it. I wasn't considerate of my roommate's possessions, and that wasn't ok. Imagine how bad I would have felt HAD something happened to the movie. 

So just a tip from someone who's messed this up. If it's not yours- don't touch. Or at the least, ask first. You'll avoid unnecessary confrontation and you'll be glad to have permission later.